12 Days of Christmas (Technical)

For the technology minded internet wanderer:
Last verse of 12 Days of Christmas:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Twelve virtual pipe connections
(There's only supposed to be two!)
Eleven boards a-frying
(What a surge suppressor supposed to do, anyway?)
Ten SNMP alerts flashing
(From a distance, it does kinda look like XMas lights.)
Nine lady executives with attitude
(What do you mean aerobics before backups?)
Eight MODEMs dialing
(No, we never use them to connect during business hours.)
Seven license failures
(We're all going to jail, I just know it.)
Six games a-playing
(No, no - my turn, my turn!)
Five golden SCSI contacts
(Great, just great! Now it won't even boot!)
Four support calls
(I don't have that package! How did I end up with you!)
Three French users
(I don't care if it is sexy, no more nude screen backgrounds!)
Two transceiver failures
(Maybe we should switch to token ring...)
And a database with a broken b-tree
(No, operator - Oslo, Norway. We were just talking
and were cut off...)