Bad Day 2

You know it's going to be a bad day when:


You wake up face down on the pavement.

You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

You see a 60 minutes news team waiting in your office.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

Your son tells you that he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.

You want to put on the clothes you wore home from last night's party--and there aren't any.

You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke and then realize you don't have a waterbed.

Your horn goes off accidentally and gets stuck when you're following a group of hells angels on the expressway.

The sun comes up in the west.

Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache!

Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor.

The bird singing outside of your bedroom window is a buzzard.

You wake up and your braces are locked together.

You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

You call the answering service & they tell you that it's none of your business your pet rock snaps at you.

You walk to work & find that your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

Your wife says, "good morning Bill" and your name is George.

Your blind date turns out to be your x wife.

Your income tax check bounces.

You see the "60 minute" news team waiting for you at your office.

You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better.

Your bar of ivory soap sticks.