* Log On - Makin' the wood stove hotter. * Log Off - Don't add no more wood. * Monitor - Keep an eye on th' wood stove. * Download - Gettin' the firewood off the pickup. * Mega Hertz - When ya ain't careful downloadin' (watch th' toes!). * Floppy Disk - Whatcha get from pilin' too much firewood. * Disk Operating System - Equipment Doc uses when you have a floppy disk. * RAM - The hydraulic thing that makes the woodsplitter work. * Hard Drive - Gettin' home in mud season. * Prompt - What you wish the mail was in mud season. * Windows - What to shut when it's 30 below. * Screen - What you need for bug season. * Byte - What bugs do. * Chip - What to munch on. * Micro Chip - What's left in the bag when the chips are gone. * Infrared - Where the leftovers go when Fred's around. * Modem - What you did to the hay fields. * Dot Matrix - John Matrix's wife. * Printer - Someone who can't write in cursive. * Lap Top - Where little kids feel comfy. * Keyboard - Where you hang your keys. * Software - Them plastic eatin' utensils. * 486 - One of them fancy imported cars. * Mouse - What eats the horses' grain in the barn. * Main Frame - The part of the barn that holds the roof up. * Port - Hole on top a th' silo * Enter - C'mon in! * Random Access Memory - When you suddenly can't remember how much that antique tractor costs when your wife asks. * Digital - Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock. * Apple - If you don't know what an apple is, I ain't tellin'. * Program - What's on the TV when there's reception. * CD ROM - The place in the bank where they sell retirement accounts.
