Green Golf Ball

THE Green Golf Ball Joke

Disclaimer: Various sections have been modified so as to cause
minimal harm to readers. Please note that this joke was originally
written in German, and due to various dangers inherent in the joke
itself, the translation is patchy. Them translators kept dying on
us, don't ya know.


John was a quiet boy. He never caused any trouble, but he also didn't
get very good grades. One day he brought his 3rd grade report card
home, and it was riddled with C's and D's. John's dad decided to bribe
him into getting better grades.

"John, if you can get straight A's, I'll buy you anything you want."

"Okay, Dad!"

And John finished out the year with straight A's.

When the big day came, John brought his final report card home, and
his dad proudly said "My son, what would you like? Anything that is
in my power is yours."

"Dad," he said shyly, "I'd like a bucket full of Green Golf Balls."

His dad was perplexed, but nevertheless John woke up the next
morning with a bucket of Green Golf Balls next to his bed.

He was happy.

Until...Junior High. His grades started slipping again, and once again,
his father made him the same offer, "Bring your grades up to straight
A's, and I'll buy you anything you want."

He did, and this time he told his father, "I want a whole CLOSET full of
Green Golf Balls."

His dad was perplexed again, but he complied. John now had a closet
full of Green Golf Balls.

And he was happy.

Until...High School. His grades started slipping again, and one final
time his father made him the same offer, "Bring your grades up to
straight A's, and I'll buy you anything you want." Now, this time his
dad was sure he knew what John wanted: A car. John's dad had
been saving for a few years, and when John finally brought home
the straight A's, John told his dad:

"I want a van..."

His dad was happy.

"Full of Green Golf Balls."

His dad was perplexed, but he complied.

That summer, after graduating from High School, John took his new
van out for a drive. He took a corner a little too fast, however, and his
van careened off the road, and hit a tree, spilling Green Golf Balls all
over the road, and the shoulder.

The police rushed to the scene, and John's dad rushed to the hospital
when he heard about the tragedy.

The doctors gave him only minutes to live.

John's dad rushed in.

"Dad, I love yo..."

"Hush now, son. You only have a few moments. I've just gotta know
one thing before you leave us...
WHAT WERE ALL THE GREEN GOLF BALLS FOR?"

John smiled, and whispered back "They were for..."

And he died.