Ma and Pa

When Ma & Pa first arrived on the homestead, Pa installed a bell on the front porch and told Ma, "If trouble comes while I'm out in the field a plowin', then you just ring that bell and I'll come a running."

The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home. When he arrives Ma says "Them boys are givin' me a hard time about doin' the chores and little Sammy done stuck the butter knife in the molassas without lickin' the blade clean first." Pa says, "You mean I just run all the way in from the fields for this. Next time it had better be important."

The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home again. When he arrives, his wife is in tears standing over a broke clothes line. "Pa," she says "some jackass came ridin' through here on a mule and ran right through the clothes line and rurnt the washin'." At first Pa was trying to figure out what was ridin' what, but then he yells, "I told you not to ring that bell unless something bad was goin' on. If this happens again, I'm goin' to whap you with a board."

The next day Pa hears the bell again and, grabbin' up a board, heads for home. When he arrives Ma is clinging to the porch rail with a spear in her back, the house behind her is in flames and the chickens are laying dead in the front yard, shot full of arrows.

Pa looks at Ma and says, "Now that's more like it."