No Pun in Ten Did

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in
the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your
kayak and heat it, too.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
lesser of two weevils.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to
the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other.
One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!
"Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocaine
during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication!

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't
stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut
daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would
always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as
the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find
that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together
a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came
in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This
isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"
"No, I'm sorry", replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten
different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Bonus:

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".