Train

A few days after xmas a mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop, and her son say "all you f*ckin' sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now! 'Cause this is your last stop. And all you bastards who are getting on, get your assess on now! As we are leaving!" The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room for two hours, and when you come out, you may play with your train. But I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped, and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.
"For those of you just boarding, we ask you to please stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember there is no smoking except in the club car. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today. For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen!!!"