TJ's Funny Pages

 


Section: 1997 Humor
 
 



 









 

Ventriloquist 2

A drifter comes up to a farm house and approaches the farmer. "I need a place to stay. I will be happy to work if you can put me up for a few days". The farmer is a bit leery and tells him that he doesn't need any extra help, and that the drifter should be on his way. The drifter says, "How about if I talk to your animals and make sure that they are happy? That's got to be worth something."

The farmer raises an eyebrow and says, "Let me get this straight. You're telling me that you can speak to my animals" "Sure." says the drifter. "Mister, if you can show me that you can talk to my animals you can have 3 meals a day and a clean bed to sleep in." says the farmer.

Just then the farmers dog comes up. The drifter starts making a wierd humming sound and the dog starts barking. The drifter says, "Your dog says the area where he sleeps is hard and it bothers hips." The farmer exclaims, "Thats amazing, about 2 weeks ago we tore out the carpeting and put in hard wood floors in our bedroom where he sleeps."

The drifter walks over to the stable and standing in front of a horse, starts making the same humming sound. The horse starts snorting and making horse noises, and the drifter says, "The horse says that a while back you switched their food, and the new stuff upsets their stomach." The farmer is astonished and says, "Thats amazing. About 2 months ago I switched to cheaper feed to save money. They ate it the same, I didn't think that they could tell the difference."

Now the drifter starts heading over to the barn and the farmer gets a panicked look on his face and says, "Hey, whatever that sheep says, she's a damn liar."




 







 
Value of time ~ Viper

Section: 1997 Humor