Funny Pages - Humor Files

 
 
 



 









 

1997 Humor Section


. ~ . ~ . ~ . 1 . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • 100 reasons it's great to be a guy
  • 12 Days of Christmas
  • 12 Days of Christmas (Technical)
  • 1994's Most Bizarre Suicide

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . 2 . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • 2 + 2

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . 6 . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • 6" inches long

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . A . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • ABC's of Friendship (Allen L)
  • About Speed
  • ABSOLUTE WORST things to say to a Police Officer:
  • Accountant Jokes
  • Accountant Riddles
  • Achtung
  • Actual Newspaper Headlines
  • Adam & Eve
  • Administratium
  • Age and Weight
  • Airline Close Call
  • Airplane Ride
  • Alcohol Brain
  • Alien - Gas Station
  • Allied Response to Saddam
  • Always Listen to Your Wife
  • An Honest Prayer
  • Ancient Technical Support
  • And you think you're having a bad day...
  • Angry Husband
  • Anything for $100
  • Anything To Pass The Exam (Cindy C.)
  • AOL 12 Days of Christmas
  • Apartment Gossip
  • Apple's Coded Message
  • Are You a Real Guy? (Cindy C.)
  • Arkansas Residency Application
  • Arms & Legs
  • Aviation Bird Test
  • Aviation Quotes

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . B . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Babylonia
  • Back Road Story (Martin A.)
  • Bad Day 2 (James O.)
  • Bad Resumes
  • Bad Times Virus Alert 2
  • Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide (Martin A.)
  • Bar
  • Barbie Dolls
  • Barbie Rights Santa
  • Bart Simpson's Punishment
  • Battle of the Bobbit Hillbillies (Jim Fox)
  • BB King's Wife
  • Bearing Arms
  • Beatles: Eleanor Rigby (Geek Song)
  • Beatles: Let it Be (Geek Song)
  • Beatles: Something
  • Beatles: Unix Man (Geek Song)
  • Beer and Ice Cream Diet
  • Beer Prayer
  • Begin and End
  • Big Stick...
  • Biking Home
  • Bill Gate's Tech Support
  • Bill Gates and the Belgian Police
  • Bill Gates in Heaven
  • Bill of No Rights
  • Birth Pain
  • Birthday Suit
  • Blind Luck
  • Blind Pilots
  • Blonde at Appliance Store
  • Blonde Q&A
  • Boss
  • Boxing Tattoo
  • Boy and His Frog
  • Brain Comparison (Female - Male)
  • Brain Teasers
  • Brewery Presidents (Cindy C.)
  • Brooklyn Holiday Greetings (Carlos M)
  • Brothel
  • Bumper Stickers
  • Bungee Antics
  • Busy

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . C . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Calorie-Burning Activities
  • Camel
  • Camel Hair Brush
  • Canary Islands
  • Candy Bar
  • Cannibals (Allen L.)
  • Captain's Log
  • Car Acronyms
  • Car Slogans
  • Careful where you Sit
  • Careful where you Sit!
  • Cars like Computers
  • Case of the Smoking Cigars (Peggy W.)
  • Castrated
  • Catgut
  • Cheap At Half The Price
  • Cheating
  • Checkout Counter (Cindy C.)
  • Checkup
  • Chemical Fire
  • Chess Nuts
  • Chicken Legs
  • Chinese gooseberries
  • Chinese Lesson (Carlos M.)
  • Chocolate Ice Cream
  • Christmas List (author unknown)
  • Christmas Tree (Cindy C.)
  • Church Bulletins
  • Church Service
  • Cigarette Condom
  • Clinton Clock
  • Clocks in Heaven
  • Clone
  • Coincidence? (Alison Larsen)
  • Cojones
  • Collection Plate
  • College Application
  • Coming to Dinner
  • Comprehending Engineers - Golf
  • Comprehending Engineers - Gym
  • Comprehending Engineers - School
  • Computer Poem (Peggy W.)
  • Computer Talk
  • Confession 1
  • Confession 3 (Allen L.)
  • Corporate Lingo
  • Corporate Zodiac
  • Costume Party
  • Court Case
  • Cow on Track
  • Cowboys (Tough) (Deborah L.)
  • Critical Machine
  • Customer Support (Peggy W.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . D . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Dancing Duck
  • Dat-sun cogs (Martin A.)
  • Dead Rabbit (James O.)
  • Deadly Party
  • Dear Abby: Microsoft (Cindy C.)
  • Dentist joke
  • Desert Test
  • Did You Know?
  • Diet
  • Differences Between Nixon & Clinton
  • Disclaimer
  • Dog Joke
  • Dog like this
  • Dog Rules
  • Dolphins
  • Don't Judge Too Soon
  • Don't Tell A Soul (Adrian Gilbert)
  • Dorm Rules
  • DOS Fish
  • Dr. Seuss - Books (Peggy W.)
  • Dr. Seuss - Technical Writing (Peggy W.)
  • Dracula (Allison)
  • Drink and Gamble (Rick L.)
  • Drinking
  • Duck Hunter
  • Duck Hunting
  • Dwarfs and the Lottery

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . E . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Earning money
  • Elder Twin
  • Elevator
  • Elevator Nuns
  • Elvis Story (Martin A.)
  • Everyone Reacts Differently
  • Exhausted
  • Expected Fathers (James O.)
  • Expensive Parrots

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . F . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Fall Line
  • Farmer talk about computers
  • Fascinate (James O.)
  • Faster and Faster
  • Fat Friends
  • Fatherdom
  • Feat of Strength
  • Female Genie
  • Female Types
  • Fetishes
  • Fishing License
  • Fishing Trip
  • Fly Right
  • Foo
  • Food and Heaven
  • Forgetful Traveler (Martin A.)
  • Forrest Gump at the Pearly Gates (James O.)
  • Fractured Fairy Tales (Carlos M)
  • Free Sex Game
  • Friars Florist (rcote)
  • Friends Without Faces
  • Frogs Having Flies
  • Funny Signs
  • Future Megacorporations

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . G . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Game Of Romance (M)
  • Gender Dictionary
  • Genie in the Garbage
  • German Lesson #7 (RHF)
  • Getting married... (Gabriel L)
  • GirlFriend Software
  • Give it a rest
  • Give that man a hand
  • God Made Us All (Martin A.)
  • Golfing
  • Golfing with Harry
  • Good News, Bad News
  • Good/Bad News (Brains) (Alison L.)
  • Gorilla Shake
  • Gravy Ladle
  • Great Banana Bread Recipe
  • Green Bay Trip
  • Green Golf Ball
  • Groom
  • Guilt
  • Gunslinger
  • Gurney

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . H . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Haiku Error Messages
  • Hair O' The Dog
  • Halloween Costumes
  • Halloween Party
  • Hand Me Downs
  • Hanukkah Better Than Christmas
  • Happy Thanksgiving (Cindy C.)
  • He Laid Her On The Table (Cindy C.)
  • Helping Hand
  • Hey, Masturbater
  • Hillary 1
  • Hillbilly Sex
  • Hit and Run
  • Hole from Hell
  • Hollandaise
  • Honda
  • Horny Henry (James O.)
  • Horny Parrot
  • Horse Ride
  • Hot Dogs & Buns
  • Hotel Checkout
  • House
  • Houses
  • How About That
  • How Feces Occurs
  • How many F's ? (Rick L.)
  • How smart do you think you are?
  • How to Build an Atom Bomb
  • How To Install Software
  • How to Speak Southern
  • How to Write Good
  • Hundred Years War
  • Hungry For Sex (Carlos M.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . I . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • I Object
  • I'm Fine
  • Ice Fishing
  • Ice Fishing 2
  • IDIOTS: They do exist (throb)
  • If God were a computer programmer
  • If Men Woke up with a Vagina (Carlos M.)
  • If Operating Systems Ran Your Car
  • If Operating Systems were Airlines
  • If Operating Systems Were Beers
  • If they made toasters
  • Ill Wife
  • Impotent
  • Improve Your Computer Vocabulary
  • Improving Your Home Life
  • In The Beginning... (Carlos M.)
  • Internet Clean-up
  • Iraq Drivers Education
  • Ireland
  • Is there a Santa Claus?
  • Isaac Asimov
  • It Happened So Fast
  • It Hurts
  • Italian

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . J . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Jack off
  • Jack Schitt
  • Jogging Nude
  • John Lennon
  • Jordon Vs Gates (Peggy W.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . K . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Keeping Bears Away (RHF)
  • Keeping Score
  • Kid Talk - Love
  • Kids Talk About Why Love Happens
  • Killer
  • King of the Jungle
  • Knee Pain

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . L . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Laboratory Rabbit (Peggy W.)
  • Ladder to Success (Cindy C.)
  • Lady Druggist
  • Las Vegas
  • Lawyer Jokes (Cindy C.)
  • Lawyers Punishment
  • Lemon 1
  • Lessons For Living
  • Letter to Dad
  • Life in the Here Afer (Peggy W.)
  • Lifesavers
  • Light
  • Lincoln - Kennedy (Cindy C.)
  • Lingo to Learn (Peggy W.)
  • Lipstick Mirror
  • Little Old Lady in a Sex Shop
  • Live and Learn...
  • Logic
  • Lone Ranger
  • Lonely Adam
  • Long Life
  • Lost Helicopter
  • Lost Pup (Rick L.)
  • Lottery
  • Love/Lust/Marriage (Cindy C.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . M . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Ma and Pa
  • Macarena
  • Maid
  • Mailman
  • Make Money
  • Male Answer Syndrome (Rick L)
  • Male Retirement
  • Man's 25 Rules for Women (Cindy C.)
  • Manhole Covers
  • Math Fun (One time) (Cindy C.)
  • Math Homework
  • Men/Women What they Say/Mean (James O.)
  • Microsoft 20
  • Microsoft TV Dinner (Ken O.)
  • Military
  • Milk of a Nursing Mother
  • Missed
  • Mississippi
  • Misunderstanding 2
  • Mix Up
  • Monica Lewinsky - John Wilkes Booth Similarities
  • Monkey Eats Everything
  • Moose Hunters
  • Moral (James O.)
  • More dumb people (Cindy C)
  • More Golf (James O.)
  • Musician Jokes (Cindy C.)
  • My Very First Time
  • MYASS (Tom B.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . N . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Naked at the Club
  • Naked Woman (James O.)
  • National Parks 2 (Plante)
  • Navy Message
  • Near Death Experience
  • Nerd Hunting Season (Rick L.)
  • New "Twelve Days of Christmas" Policy
  • New Bike
  • New Boots
  • New England Diary
  • New Priest
  • Newborn
  • Newlywed
  • Nice Monkey
  • Night Before Christmas (Bah Humbug) (Carlos M)
  • Night Before Christmas (Hood)
  • Night Before Christmas (Internet)
  • Night before Christmas (Legal)
  • Night Before Christmas (Microsoft)
  • Night Before Christmas (Moms)
  • Night Before Christmas (Political)
  • Night Before Christmas (Programmer)
  • Night Before Christmas (Redneck)
  • Night Before Christmas (Scientific)
  • Night Before Christmas (Star Trek NG)
  • Night Before Christmas (Stealth)
  • Night Before Christmas (Tex-Max)
  • No First Argument
  • No L
  • No Pun in Ten Did (James O.)
  • Noah and the Ark
  • Not There
  • Nun
  • Nuns in Heaven
  • Nuns on the Highway
  • Nursing Home
  • Nuts Roasting (Rick L)
  • NutWorks Dating Issue
  • Nympho on an Airline (Carlos M.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . O . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • October Revolution
  • Office Prayer
  • Officer Efficiency Reports (Ken O.)
  • On Another Line
  • One Liners (Angela Foster)
  • Operation
  • Organizational Changes at the North Pole
  • Overtime tech call

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . P . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Pages
  • Panama Hats
  • Panda (Richard S.)
  • Parachute Paradigm
  • Parental Dictionary
  • Parrot Freeze
  • Party Question
  • PC's - Male or Female
  • Pearly Gates (Biker Gang)
  • Pearly Gates (Harold)
  • Penguins
  • Penis Name
  • Penis Study (Cindy C.)
  • Penis Tax (Alison L)
  • Pepper and Salt
  • Pet Frog (Cindy C.)
  • Pianoist
  • Pig Weigh
  • Pipe Specifications
  • Pirate Ship
  • Pizza Delivery
  • PlaceKicker
  • Plane Crash
  • Point About Sex
  • Poison Coffee
  • Police
  • Pope Celebrate (Peggy W)
  • Pope in heaven
  • Pope vs Man
  • Post Office
  • Post Office Balls
  • Pot
  • Potato
  • Preacher's Ass (throb)
  • President of the U.S.
  • Presidential Humor (Cindy C.)
  • Prostitute / Protestant
  • Public Servant
  • Purple Finch
  • Put More Stress into Your Life

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . Q . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Q & A

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . R . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Read Before Opening
  • REDMOND, Wash. (AP)
  • Redneck Computer Terms (Rick Lorenz)
  • Refrigerator
  • Relationships (Richard S.)
  • Religion
  • Repair Engineer (Scott's Joke Archive)
  • Resume Bloopers 2
  • Rhetorical Questions
  • Riddle: Truck
  • Rodney Dangerfield
  • Rope
  • Rope people
  • Rudolph
  • Rum Cake
  • Rush Job Calendar
  • Russian Car

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . S . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • S.H.I.T. Memo
  • Saddam Tragedy
  • Safe Sex (Carlos M.)
  • Safe Sex Tale (Martin A.)
  • Saint
  • Sales Presentation
  • Sam Clam
  • Same As Putting It In
  • Santa's Mental Health
  • Satan's Sister
  • Secret (Cindy C.)
  • Secretary (James O.)
  • Secretary of Agriculture
  • Seminars for Females
  • Seminars for Males
  • Sesame Street Bus
  • Sex is a man's Best Friend
  • Sex or What?
  • Sex Therapy
  • Sex Throughout The Year
  • Sexual Tension Quiz
  • Shan Fit
  • Sharp (Carlos)
  • She was so Blonde
  • Signs You Work in a Bad Office (Carlos M.)
  • Sisters of Mercy
  • Skewed History
  • Sleigh-Borne Sysndrme
  • Slogans
  • Snails
  • Snapshot View of the World... (Ken O.)
  • Software Reviews
  • Someone's Coming
  • Sound Dirty At The Office (Cindy C.)
  • Special Turkey Recipe (Carlos M.)
  • Speeding
  • Spelling
  • Square 1
  • St. Peter Questions
  • Stages of Life 2 (Sam W.)
  • Stamps
  • Star Wars Holiday Humor
  • State of the Union
  • Statistics
  • Statues
  • Staying Fresh
  • Stolen Record
  • Stowaway Sailor
  • Stranded
  • Strange Deaths 01
  • Stranger Than Truth (Martin A.)
  • Stress Relief (Cindy C.)
  • Stupid Questions (Grand Canyon)
  • Sucking Our Thumbs (James O.)
  • Sunbathe
  • Superbowl Ticket
  • Support Fees
  • Symptoms of Inner Peace (Kaye Sykes)
  • Syncopated (Raymond P.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . T . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Teacher's Pet (James O.)
  • Technical Issues (Cindy C.)
  • Teeth for a Dollar
  • Ten Commandments For Computer Ethics
  • Ten Commandments of Bill Gates
  • Texans and New Yorkers
  • Texas Nativity Scene
  • The X(mas) Files
  • Then you have LIVED
  • There is a Santa Claus
  • Things Adults Learn From Kids
  • Things That Sound Dirty in Golf (Cindy C.)
  • Things That Sound Dirty In Law (Cindy C.)
  • Things That Sound Dirty on Christmas (Carlos M.)
  • Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support
  • Things you would never know (Alison L.)
  • Thinking
  • Thinking Meat
  • Throne
  • Times Have Changed
  • Tired all of the time? (Peggy W.)
  • Too Much Coffee
  • Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Fellows
  • Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students
  • Tourists
  • Train (James O.)
  • Translations
  • Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex
  • Trids
  • Trigonometry
  • Trouble Tree
  • Trucker
  • Trunk 2
  • Turner Brown
  • Twas The Night Before Finals
  • Twelve Bugs of Christmas
  • Two Prostitutes

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . U . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Undersized Cows
  • Undocumented Windows Error Codes
  • Unofficial Smilie Dictionary
  • Unreal Resume

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . V . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Vacation Time
  • Value of time (Kevin H)
  • Ventriloquist 2
  • Viper
  • Virus warning (RHF)
  • Volvo

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . W . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • W.....Y
  • Waitress
  • Warranty Card
  • Washington
  • Watch Out For These Computer Viruses
  • We should learn a new word each day
  • We the Willing
  • Weather Vane
  • Weird Statistics (Jack M.)
  • WGASA
  • What country are you from? (Clinton)
  • What Is It?
  • What is Politics
  • What Not to Say to a Cop
  • What Windows 95 Really Means
  • Where is God
  • Which is your Zodiac?
  • White House Puppy
  • Who wears the pants
  • Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? (Martin A.)
  • Why I fired my secretary
  • Why it takes a license to drive
  • Why Older Women are Better
  • Why Trick or Treating is Better Than Sex (Ken O.)
  • Windows 95 Daffy Definition (Peggy W.)
  • Windows 95 stands for
  • Woman / Man Communications
  • World War II Joke
  • World's Shortest Books (Martin A.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . X . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • XMas Carols

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . Y . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Year 2K
  • Yo Quiero Taco Bell
  • Yodelers
  • You Have Flunked Sex Education If You Said...
  • You Have Sinned (Cindy C.)
  • You just might be a graduate student if...
  • You Might Be A College Student
  • You Might be a Redneck if ...
  • Yukon Whore


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