Better Sex Life

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them.

The Browns came to see the doctor, and after giving them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests, he concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. On your way home from my office, stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bull's-eye in your wife's love canal. Then, on hands and knees, you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.

"Then, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and, from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then, like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut."

The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.

They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green, that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and explained that he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them. Then he conducted the same physical exams and the same battery of tests he had conducted on the Browns. After this was done and he'd briefly reviewed the results, he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be. I cannot help."

The Greens pleaded with him. "You helped our friends the Browns. Now please, please help us."

"Well, all right," the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of Cheerios...."