Beware Of The Following Viruses:

Ellen Degeneres virus - Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

Monica Lewinsky virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Titanic virus - Makes your whole computer go down.

Disney virus - Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Mike Tyson virus - Quits after one byte.

Prozac virus - Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Lorena Bobbit virus - Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Woody Allen virus - By-passes the motherboard and turns on daughter card.

Joey Buttafuoco virus - Only attacks minor files.

Spice Girl virus - Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

Ronald Reagan virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Dr. Kevorkian virus - Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.

Oprah Winfrey virus - Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

ATT virus - Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI virus - Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the ATT virus.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus.. Terminates and stays resident... It'll be back.

Viagra virus - Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip drive.

Then there is the Clinton PC. It has a six inch hard drive and no memory