Epitaphs

CORNY AND AMUSING (SUPPOSEDLY TRUE) EPITAPHS *

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:


The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.


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Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:


Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.


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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:


Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.


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Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.


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In a Georgia cemetery:

"I told you I was sick!"


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John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:


Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.


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On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:


She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.


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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:


Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.


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On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:


Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.


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In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:


Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.