He Plans to End the World in Three Days

God decides it's time for the end of the world, but He wants to give the world some warning so everybody can prepare. So he calls the three most influential men on earth -- Jerry Falwell, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates- to an early demise, tells them He plans to end the world in three days, and sends them back to earth.

Jerry Falwell gets on TV and tells his nationwide congregation "I've got some good news and I've got some bad news. The good news is: We were right all along: God exists! The bad news is: The world is coming to an end in three days. But we still have time to repent. So repent now!"

Boris Yeltsin goes before the Duma and tells them: "I've got some bad news and I've got some worse news. The bad news is: We were wrong all along. God exists! The worse news is: The world is coming to an end in three days, and we don't have time to reform."

Bill Gates gets back to Microsoft, calls his staff together and says: "I've got some good news and I've got some great news! The good news is God thinks I'm one of the three most influential men on earth. The great news is: We don't have to fix Windows `95!"