Actual Instructions found on the below products.... On hairdryer instructions: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. Frozen dinner that says: Serving suggestion: Defrost. On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. On Boots' (pharmacy chain in the UK) children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. On Nytol: Warning: may cause drowsiness. On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.