Marriage

Some Interesting thoughts on marriage.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
* Henny Youngman

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.
* Ann Bancroft (married to Mel Brooks)

Any husband who says. "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.
* Bill Cosby

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
* Rita Rudner

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
* Benjamin Franklin

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
* Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
* Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
* Milton Berle

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
* George Burns

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
* Cindy Garner

My mother buried three husbands,and two of them were just napping.
* Rita Rudner

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
* Henny Youngman

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."