New, Friendlier IRS

The Top 16 Differences in the New, Friendlier IRS


16> Old form: "1090" New form: "10-40, Good Buddy!"

15> Prank "Get Out of Jail Free" card sent with audit notice.

14> After particularly painful audits, agents don dark glasses and flash "Men In Black" memory eraser thingy in your face.

13> "Tax shelters" now referred to as "Thatched-Roof Income Cottages."

12> Coffee and tea served while agents wait for Viagra pills to take effect.

11> Instead of kicking you in the family jewels with an iron boot, agents now kick you in the family jewels with a more forgiving penny loafer.

10> All audits conducted in the comfort of Willie Nelson's former home.

9> Rectal probes now warmed to room temperature before audits.

8> Just say "Supersize It!" and Janet Reno will personally conduct your audit.

7> New motto: "Two things are certain: FUN And Taxes!"

6> Rifle butt to the head now accompanied by "Please" and "Thank you."

5> Threatening form letters now lightly scented with CK One and begin, "It's Audit-Doody Time!"

4> Either pay required fines, or go double-or-nothing in a game of whack-a-mole.

3> Agents now required to start with "Hi, my name is Jim, and I'll be screwing you today."

2> Those new commercials featuring a turtleneck-clad George Clooney and catchy "Fork Over, America" jingle.

and the Number 1 Difference in the New, Friendlier IRS...

1> Unless that's a typo, looks like you're getting an Audi this year!