No Offense Intended

A German, a Frenchman, and a Pollock were standing on top of a magical cliff. The supposed magic happens when jumping off and calling out what you want to be.

So the German runs and jumps off the cliff calling out "I want to be a Falcon!" He turns into a falcon and flies away.

The Frenchman runs and jumps off the cliff calling out "I want to be an eagle!" He turns into an eagle and flies away.

The Pollock runs and trips on a rock and cries out "CRAP!