14) Reduced box office take due to frequent use of AARP discount cards. 13) Hell's Angels hired to circulate crowd and "entice" people to switch from AT&T to Sprint. 12) Old smell: booze with a hint of pot. New smell: Polygrip with a hint of Ben Gay. 11) Slightly senile musicians toss in an occasional Beatles song. 10) Tour bus drives at 25 miles an hour with left blinker constantly flashing. 9) There's a distinct resemblance between Keith Richards and that Weekend at Bernie's guy. 8) "Unplugged" section of concert consists of band members in rocking chairs reminiscing about the good old days. 7) Mike stands now double as i.v. holders. 6) During show opener "Start Me Up," Mick Jagger fires up Keith's pacemaker. 5) Famous enlarged lips logo replaced by enlarged prostate logo. 4) Those drops of perspiration on Keith's brow? Embalming fluid. 3) New song: "You Can't Always Eat What You Want." 2) On a monster video screen, Mick plays connect the dots with the needle marks on Keith's arms. 1) Lump in back of Mick's pants noticeably larger than lump in front of Mick's pants.
