The Three Pigs

Once there were three little pigs who moved into the suburbs. Two streets over, edging towards the ghetto, there was a wolf who thought he was the local BMIDH. If you've seen "Friday," you get the picture. Anyway, this wolf was always hassling the pigs from the day they moved in. He'd come over and egg their house, cuss them out, throw stuff through their windows, and so on.

One day two of the pigs were outside raking leaves and the wolf pulls up in his pimp car, gets out, and starts hassling them. The pig in the house makes a phone call and goes out to join his brothers. Ten minutes of abuse later, a Caddy sedan with Jersey plates and tinted windows pulls up. Four HUGE pigs in suits and carrying baseball bats get out. They grab the wolf and beat the hell out of him, just pound him into the ground. Then they burn his car and threaten to cut his balls off if he ever bothers the three pigs again. Then they drive off.

The wolf picks himself up and starts crawling away, but he asks one of the pigs who the hell those guys were.

The pig walks over, kicks him in the balls one last time, spits on his head, and tells him. "Those were our cousins," he says, "the Guinea pigs."