Bear Hunter

A bear hunter spent all day in the woods looking for a bear; by day's end he was exhausted and headed back to his car. All of a sudden in a clearing ahead he saw a HUGE bear; he took aim and fired several times, certain that he had gotten his bear.

When he reached the clearing, however, the bear was gone! The hunter looked all around, but there was no trace of his bear. Suddenly he felt a tap-tap on his shoulder; when he turned around he saw the bear, looming high over him with a fearful grin. "Mister", said the bear, "if you want to get out of these woods alive you're going to let me have my way with you".

Hours later, the hunter, scratched, torn, humiliated and dirty, stumbled to his car vowing revenge against the bear.

The following weekend the hunter was back with the largest rifle he could find, and to be sure he got his bear he brought along two hand grenades. Again he searched all day, and as daylight waned he decided to return to his car.

Just then he saw the bear at the edge of a meadow. He took careful aim, fired five rounds, then threw his grenades. He ran towards the meadow, arriving just as the smoke and dust cleared, only to find that the bear was gone. Then from behind him he felt a tap-tap on his shoulder, and with dread he turned around.

There stood the bear again, an evil grin on his face, saying "Mister, if you want to leave these woods alive you're going to let me have my way with you".

Hours later the hunter again stumbled from the forest to his car, thinking angrily all the way how he could best kill the bear.

The following weekend he returned again to the forest, this time with a machine gun and two morters. All day he searched for the bear and again saw no trace of the beast until he was ready to leave the forest. He saw the bear drinking from a stream. Silently he crept as close as possible, then took careful aim with his machine gun and fired, spraying the entire area with bullets. When his ammunition was gone he fired his morter shells. Confident that no bear could live through that barrage he skipped gleefully down to the stream............ no bear. He flinched as he felt the now-familiar tap-tap on his shoulder, and turned to see his nemesis the bear grinning down at him.

Mister", said the bear, "you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"