Dear Friend

The Rescue Mission
666 Confederate Drive
Macon, Georgia

Dear Friend,

Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause of temperance. Each winter for the past fourteen years, I have toured the eastern United States and have delivered a series of lectures on the evils of drinking and philandering.

I have been accompanied by my young friend, Tommy Patton. Tommy, a young man of good family and excellent educational background, is a pathetic example of a life ruined by excessive indulgence in whiskey and wild women.

Tommy would appear with me at the lectures and sit on the platform staring at the audiences through bloodshot eyes, wheezing, sweating profusely, picking his nose, passing gas, fondling his genital area and making obscene gestures. Whereupon, I would point him out as an example of what over-indulgence in a life of sin can do to a person.

Unfortunately, Tommy was recently committed to an institution for the sexually deviant and criminally insane. A mutual friend has given your name to me as a possible replacement, and I was wondering if you would be available to take Tommy's place on my next winter tour.

Your Friend in Healing Lost Souls,
Jim Bakker
Evangelist and Founder