Help Wanted

Serious inquiries only! This is a strenuous position. You must be able to lift, bend and scoop on demand. You must be able to handle multiple tasks simultaneously. The hours have little to no flexibility. Your work day will be 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, although you are aloud to sleep a couple of hours a day on the job. There will be no monetary or otherwise material benefits from this job. However, chaos and joy are abundant. You will not have any sick time, vacation leave or paid time off. You are to be on call at all times even if you have someone covering your shift for a few hours. You must have knowledge in science, basic math, art, crafts, basic first aide, quantum physics, and be able to answer any question at a moments notice in a short and precise manner.

The job you are applying for is that of a mother.