Signs That You Have Had Too Much Of The 90's

You try to enter your password on the microwave.

You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."

You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.

You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he e-mails you back "What's for dinner?"

Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.

You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a Web page.

Your daughter just bought on CD all the records your college roommate used to play that you espised.

You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.

You worry about your microwave being year 2000 compliant.

You didn't realize Sunday was Easter until you read your Dilbert calendar.

When you are in the mood for a party atmosphere, you go to a chat room.

You feel behind the times because you still watch movies on tapes instead of dvds.

You start believing the NBA players deserve a raise.

You open a family business with yourself as the president, and the other family members try to squeeze you out.

At bars you give out your e-mail address instead of phone numbers.

When your wife puts on sexy lingerie and lures you into bed, you stop her because you have to check your e-mail first.

You would go to the park to enjoy a spring afternoon, but there aren't any modem jacks.

You read about the sweatshop workers and think of how tragic their situation is before going to work in your 4'x4' cubicle for twelve hours.

When you try to open the front door to your house with your car remote.

When you try to open your car door with your security badge.