Texas Diary
Yankees (and others) in Texas
May 30th
Just moved to West Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.
June 30th
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th
I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and Bits. No more pets in this heat!
July 25th
Dry #@*&$!% heat, Hot is Hot!! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me the needed to order parts.
July 30th
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 in house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug 4th
115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman relieved himself in my pool. I hate this #@*&$!% state.
Aug 8th
If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to tear his #@*&$!% throat out. Dang heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like Roasted #@*&$!% Garfield!!
Aug 10th
The weather report might as well be a recording: Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to breath for two months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren #@%^~{+ desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the #@*&$!% pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat.
Aug 14th
Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the #@*&$!% windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Aug 30th
Worst day of the #@%^&+ summer. I'm not leaving the house. The #@*&$!% monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than you can believe. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving to Egypt for some cool weather!
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