Viruses 1999

Lewinsky Virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

Kenneth Starr Virus: Competely examines every aspect of your computer, then compiles a complex report that discredits every aspect of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, and then slowly expands to 200MB.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Deletes all old files.

Ellen Degeneres Virus: Disks can no longer be inserted.

Titanic virus:Your whole computer goes down.

Disney virus:Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

Prozac virus:Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care. Only attacks minor files.

Joey Buttafuoco Virus: Only attacks minor files.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Viagra Virus: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

Clinton Virus: Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory.