Words of Wisdom

Impotence: Nature's way of saying - "No hard feelings".

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes.
You will learn a lot today.

A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

I don't have a solution; but I do admire the problem.

I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS but it uses up a thousand times the memory.

The Meek shall inherit the earth after we're through with it.

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Two can live as cheaply as one for half as long.

Lord, If I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.

Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

THE BUCK DOESN'T EVEN SLOW DOWN HERE So keep on going.

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I was only looking at your name tag, honest!

When blondes have more fun do they know it?

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

We have enough youth How about a fountain of "Smart"?

MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT!

Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-tasking?