Xmas Party

John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You madea complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an idiot," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did", came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

Louise said, "I did, you start back to work Monday."