Awkward Silence

At your inlaws for dinner and for some unexplicable reason you fart... Awkward Silence.

You are asked why your palms are hairy and you wear 1" thick glasses.... Awkward Silence.

2 Seconds before the climax your wife asks you if the garbage cans were taken to the road... .Awkward Silence. (followed by severe shrinkage) ((unless garbage cans push you over the top))

2 Seconds before the climax your mother in law prances through your fantasy wearing nothing but a bandaid and some scotch tape... Awkward Silence... (unless, well, nevermind)

As you pass the tenth mile from the dock in eager anticipation to get to your fishing hole and your buddy asks if the plug is in.... Awkward Silence.

Your prank call is interrupted because your preacher has caller ID.... Awkward Silence... (followed by awkward confession and possibly an awkward exorcism)... ((unless, well, nevermind))

Your sitting in the stall and someone gets in the adjoining one... Awkward Silence... (unless you are preoccupied with... well, nevermind.... See the hairy palms line...)

Your outside and you see where your dad peed his name in the snow but it's not his handwriting... Awkward Silence.

Your sitting in your cubicle, thinking everyone but you is out to lunch, and you release a horrendous flood of mexican laced flatulence... Then your woman boss walks in... Awkward Silence... (followed by CPR techniques you learned at the last safety meeting...)