TJ's Funny Pages

 


Section: 2000 Humor
 
 



 









 

Conversion Table

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton

1 millionth mouthwash = 1 microscope

Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach Turtle

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling

1/2 large intestine = 1 semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahertz

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

1/2 bath = 1 demijohn

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step", the first step of a one-mile journey = 1 Milwaukee

1 million microphones = 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

365.25 days = 1 Unicycle

500 millionaires = 1 seminary

2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

10 cards = 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks = 1 Liter Hosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

1 million billion piccolos = 1 gigolo

10 rations = 1 decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration

10 millipedes = 1 centipede

3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent

10 monologs = 5 dialogs

5 dialogs = 1 decalog

2 monograms = 1 diagram

8 nickels = 2 paradigms

2 wharves = 1 paradox


Contributed by: Allen L.



 







 
Contraceptive99 ~ Corporate Structure

Section: 2000 Humor