Halloween Jokes 2

Q. What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A. A wash and wear wolf

Q. What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?
A. An amoeboo!

Q. What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
A. Benjamin Frankenstein

Q. What should you say when you meet a ghost?
A. "How do you boo, sir? How do you boo?"

Q. What spook lives in the "hundred acre wood"?
A. Winnie the Boo

Q. What time is it when a monster smashes down your front door?
A. Time to get a new door

Q. What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
A. Five after one.

Q. What TV show do all ghosts love to watch?
A. Squeal of Fortune

Q. What two types of music do mummies like best?
A. Rag time and Wrap.

Q. What type of coffee do vampires prefer?
A. Decoffinated!

Q. What type of music do ghosts prefer?
A. Spirituals, of course.

Q. What was the witches' favorite subject in school?
A. Spelling

Q. What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A. A dead ringer.

Q. What would you find on a haunted beach?
A. A sand witch.

Q. What would you get if you crossed a wolf with a polyester jacket?
A. A wash-and-wearwolf

Q. What's a haunted chicken?
A. A poultry-geist.

Q. What's a monster's favorite play?
A. Romeo and Ghouliet.

Q. What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa
monster?
A. Grandma monster

Q. What's the best place for a mirror?
A. In a graveyard. It can double your mummy.

Q. What's the difference between a coffin and a letterbox?
A. You don't know? - well, i won't send you to post a letter.

Q. What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
A. They boo-kle their seatbelts

Q. When a witch lands, where does she park?
A. In a broom closet.

Q. When do ghosts usually appear?
A. Just before someone screams.

Q. When does a ghost need a license?
A. During "haunting" season.

Q. When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
A. When you're a mouse..

Q. Where did the vampire open his savings account?
A. At a blood bank

Q. Where did they put Dracula when he was arrested?
A. In a red bloodcell!

Q. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A. Dayscare centers

Q. Where do monsters go for sunset sails?
A. Lake Eee-rie

Q. Where do mummies go for a swim?
A. To the dead sea

Q. Where does Count Dracula make his withdrawals?
A. At the blood bank.

Q. Where does Dracula water ski?
A. On Lake Erie

Q. Who belongs to the monster PTA?
A. The mummies and deadies!

Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. Who did the boy monster take to the Halloween dance?
A. His bootiful ghoul-friend.

Q. Who digs the graves when the grave diggers go on strike?
A. The skeleton crew!

Q. Why are there fences around cemeteries?
A. Because people are dying to get in.

Q. Why couldn't the mummy attend the meeting?
A. He was all tied up.

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to take !

Q. Why did the ghost become a sailor?
A. He wanted to haunt for buried treasure!

Q. Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
A. To get his boo-ster shot?

Q. Why did the monster eat the tight-rope walker?
A. He wanted to eat a well balanced diet!

Q. Why did the mummy call the doctor?
A. Because he was coffin.

Q. Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?
A. They would only let him be BAT boy!

Q. Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
A. Their bats flew away

Q. Why didn't Dracula get married?
A. He never met a nice Ghoul!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. He didn't have the guts.

Q. Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
A. Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

Q. Why do vampires drink blood?
A. Because coffee keeps them awake all day!

Q. Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
A. Because he's a pain in the neck!

Q. Why don't skeletons like parties?
A. They have no body to dance with.

Q. Why don't skeletons ski?
A. They don't have the guts.

Q. Why don't witches ever have babies?
A. Warlocks have hollow weenies.

Q. Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
A. It's good for the bones.

Q. Why was the little ghost sent to his room before dinner was over?
A. Because he was goblin too fast!

Q. Why was the student vampire tired in the morning?
A. Because he was up all night studying for his blood test!!!