Hanging Chad

MELVIN DURAI'S HUMOR

THERE'S MORE HANGING THAN JUST CHADS
~~Copyright 2000 Melvin Durai http://www.funnycolumns.com

The 2000 presidential election introduced us to the term "hanging chad." Below is the definition of that term, as well as some other lesser known "hanging" terms:

HANGING CHAD: What you get when a hole on a ballot card isn't fully punched out. In the African nation of Chad, this is known as a "hanging America."

HANGING BRAD: What actress Gwyneth Paltrow wants to do to her ex-boyfriend Brad Pitt.

HANGING AD: What you'd get if Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris placed a "Bush-Cheney" campaign sticker on her breasts.

HANGING MAD: A presidential candidate who's hanging on desperately to his White House hopes, believing the election was stolen.

HANGING GONAD: What you get when supporters of Ralph Nader, realizing he has no chance of winning, fail to complete their chants: "GO NAD...!" A reference to this term also appeared in the Lewinsky Diary.

HANGING SAD: A term describing an incumbent president who had hoped the election wouldn't be decided until 2020.

HANGING DAD: What O.J. Simpson didn't want his kids to witness.

HANGING PLAID: What Ross Perot's maid is tired of doing.

HANGING GRAD: A term for a football player, in his last semester of college, waiting to find out who will write his final paper.

HANGING BAD: How Bob Dole described his condition to the doctor who prescribed Viagra.