How Dumb Is He?

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued on."

"A prime candidate for natural deselection."

"A room temperature IQ."

"An individual of two minds: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"Bright as Alaska in December."

"Donated his body to science before he was done using it."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

"He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."

"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

"He has a knack for making strangers immediately."

"He would argue with a signpost."

"He's been working with glue too much."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one"

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

"One neuron short of a synapse."

"One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

"Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby."

"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

"Takes him 2 hours to watch '60 Minutes.'"