New-Age Phrases

Chip Jewelry:
A euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE, and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."

CGI Joe:
A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Dorito Syndrome:
Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours surfing the Web and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."

Egosurfing:
Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers looking for the mention of your name.

Crapplet:
A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"

Plug-and-Play:
A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is great. He's totally plug-and-play."

Graybar Land:
The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for hours thanks to that download."

Open-Collar Workers:
People who work at home or telecommute.

Keyboard Plaque:
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque."

Elvis Year:
The peak year of something's popularity. "Barney's Elvis Year was 1993."

Tourists:
People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the rest were tourists."

Beepilepsy:
The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.