Professor Crushbottom 01

A window salesman phoned professor Crushbottom. "Hello, Mr Professor," said the sales rep. "I'm calling because our company replaced all the windows in your house with our triple-glazed weather-tight windows over a year ago, and you still haven't sent us a single payment."

Professor Crushbottom replied, "But didn't you say they'd pay for THEMSELVES in 12 months!?"

=====

Two professors were well into their cups at their favorite watering hole, when one spotted movement along the top of the bar.

"Whazz that ?" asked professor Crushbottom. "A bug?"

"Izz a Ladybug," his younger colleague replied.

"Sheesh," professor Crushbottom gushed, "you got good eyesight !"

=====

Though she tried to please her husband, Mrs professor Crushbottom seemed to fail regularly. Most often it was at breakfast. If she scrambled the eggs, he wanted poached. If she poached them, he wanted them scrambled. There was just no pleasing him.....

One morning she decided to poach one and scramble the other, and waited for his approval. Glancing at his plate, the professor Crushbottom snorted,"You've scrambled the wrong egg!"