Stupid Questions

Ten most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some matching replies.

1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Q: Hey, what are you doing here?
A: Well, it's so hot, there were no cool cabs so I thought I'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Q: Sorry, did that hurt?
A: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia..... Why don't you try again or should I try this time?

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Q: Why, why him, of all people?
A: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter...
Q: Is the "blah blah blah" dish good?
A: No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally
also spit into it...

5. At a family get-together.When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Q: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big....
A: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Q: Is the guy you're marrying good?
A: No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive clout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Q: Sorry. were you sleeping.
A: No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Q: Hey have you had a haircut?
A: No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Q: Tell me if it hurts?
A: And while I'm telling you, you tell me if I bite.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Q: Oh, so you smoke!
A: No, it's a miracle .... it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!