Sure signs that you are broke

American Express calls to tell you to leave home without it.

your criminal gang is working on a plan to rob the food bank.

your hands are stained from rolling pennies.

long distance companies don't call you to switch.

when you talk about eating a woman, you don't mean sex

you clean your house hoping to find change.

your bologna has no first name.

you give blood every day, just for the free orange juice.

packages arrive from Sally Struthers

all your kitchen condiments come in McDonald's packets