Why

What`s the difference between a penis and a prick?
A penis is fun, sexy and satisfying; A prick is the guy who owns it.

Behind every great man is a great woman...
and behind every great woman is some guy staring at her ass!

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without a boner, make him a sandwich.

Did you hear that Viagra now comes in a nasal spray?
It's for Dickheads!

Why do men always pay more for car insurance?
Women don't get blow jobs while they're behind the wheel.

A friend of mine used alcohol as a substitute for women; you know what happened?
He got his penis stuck in the neck of the bottle!

Men are like bagpipes...
You won't get anything unless you blow them first.

If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear?
A hole in it.

Why don't men wear tight underwear?
It cuts off circulation to the brain!

What's the definition of a bastard?
A man who boinks you all night with a 2 inch penis, then kisses you goodbye with a 12 inch tongue.

Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
Cause their balls show.