Funny Pages - Humor Files

 
 
 



 









 

2000 Humor Section


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  • 115 Year Old Man
  • 18 And 54

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . 2 . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • 2 Drops Every 4 Hours
  • 2 Nuns (Tom S.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . 3 . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • 3 Kick Rule (David B.)
  • 3 Wishes (Cindy C.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . A . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Accounting (Tom S.)
  • Additions to Murphy's Laws
  • Adopted Rabbit
  • After Takeoff (Carlos M.)
  • After the revival
  • Age Barometer
  • Aggie Virus (Peggy W.)
  • Airport Ticket Agent Terminology
  • Al Gore (Priceless) (Cindy C.)
  • Alcohol Warning Labels (Dana T.)
  • Alternate Meanings (James O.)
  • American History
  • Andy Rooney-isms from 60 Minutes
  • Any Position
  • Ape Fart
  • April 1st story
  • Arm
  • Aroma (Rick L.)
  • Art (rcote)
  • Asian Economy Worsens
  • Asleep in Front Seat
  • Atheist 2 (Dana T.)
  • Athlete 1 (Tom S)
  • Athlete 2 (Tom S)
  • Athlete 3 (Tom S)
  • Athlete 4 (Tom S)
  • Australia Trip Itinerary
  • Autopsy professor
  • Awkward Silence (Tom S)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . B . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Baby Sister
  • Bad headlines
  • Bad Language (Allen L)
  • Bad little boys and girls
  • Baldness Pill (Greg D)
  • Barber Shop
  • Barbie Aged (Cindy C.)
  • Battle of the sexes - Bedtime
  • Battle of the sexes - The female perspective
  • Be Careful What You Wear on Halloween
  • Bear and Salmon (Tom S)
  • Beautiful Dress
  • Best Surgical Patients (Rick L.)
  • Beware... (rcote)
  • Big Blondes (Allen L.)
  • Big Game Hunter
  • Bill Gates In Hell
  • Birthday Gift (Allen L.)
  • Black Panties (rcote)
  • Blond and the Snow Storm
  • Blonde Cell Phone (Rick L.)
  • Blonde Eyeglasses (Rick L.)
  • Blonde Makeup (Carl F.)
  • Blonde Phone Home (Allen L.)
  • Blonde Space (Carl F.)
  • Blonde Trivia Pursuit (Carl F.)
  • Blonde with red ears (Cindy C)
  • Blown Date
  • Bothersome Customer
  • Brag Brag Brag
  • Breast Enlargement (Allen L.)
  • Breast Tax Law
  • Bricklayer Accident Report (Rick L)
  • Bridge
  • British Journalistic Blunders
  • Bronze Rat
  • Business Quotes
  • Busting to Pee

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . C . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Caesar Salad
  • California Driver's Exam (Allen L.)
  • Can I Ride My Bike?
  • Car-jacking
  • Career Day
  • Carman (rcote)
  • Cat Commandments
  • Cat's Diary
  • Cats & Dogs
  • Census
  • Census Taker
  • Champagne/Note (rcote)
  • Change on the counter
  • Cheap HMO (Allen L.)
  • Check this out
  • Check Those Addresses Carefully
  • Cheese Funeral
  • Children's Books
  • Children's Books to Avoid
  • Chinese Laundry (Allen L.)
  • Chop and Drop Syndrome
  • Clearly
  • Close Encounter
  • Closet (Tom S.)
  • Clunking sound
  • Cockeyed (Allen L)
  • College Diploma
  • Colored Condoms
  • Companion Fare
  • Comparing Texas Schools
  • Compassionate Lawyer (Allen L.)
  • Computer Acronyms Gone Amuck (CAGA) (Peggy W)
  • Computer Errors
  • Computer Problems
  • Computer Upgrade (Carlos M.)
  • Condom Sizes
  • Confused Verdict
  • Confusing times (Tim F.)
  • Contraceptive99
  • Conversion Table (Allen L.)
  • Corporate Structure
  • Cost Cutting
  • Costume Party 3
  • Counting
  • Counting Sheep (James O.)
  • Couple of Mechanics
  • Couple Of Owls
  • Cowboy Boots (RamblingRoseofTx)
  • Cowboy's Hoss (Allen L.)
  • Cowhand
  • Coworker Lines (Kari B.)
  • Crickets
  • Cruise Ship
  • Cuckoo Clock
  • Cuckoo Clock 2 (Carl F.)
  • Cure for AIDS (Allen L.)
  • Customary Charges
  • Customs
  • Cybersex ? (Tom B)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . D . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Daddy's password
  • Damn! (Allen L)
  • Dating Tips For Women
  • Daughter's Bad Day
  • Dean's Wish
  • Dear Santa (Rick L.)
  • Death and Cookies
  • Democrat Rules for Golf
  • Democratic Seal (Rick L.)
  • Desperately Ill
  • Diagnosing Baby
  • Diagnosis
  • Difference Between Men and Women...
  • Dim Wits
  • Directory Enquiries
  • Doctor (rcote)
  • Doctor Grammar
  • Doctor Replacement (Dana T.)
  • Doctor visit
  • Doctor Visit 2
  • Domain Name Game
  • Don't peek
  • Donkey Moral (Allen L.)
  • Down by the River
  • Drowning wife
  • Drunk (Carlos M.)
  • Drunk Dance
  • Drunk in charge of a boat?
  • Dumb Guy Jokes (James O.)
  • DWI Underwear (Rick L)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . E . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • E-mailers Anonymous (Michele H.)
  • Earl
  • Eating Oreo's
  • Education In A Bottle
  • Election News (Gore)
  • Engineers
  • English (Allen L)
  • English Exam (Cindy C.)
  • Eskimos (rcote)
  • Ethnic Jokes
  • Ever Wonder About The Babysitter?
  • Everything is Big in Texas (Cindy C.)
  • Evolution Evidence (Carlos M.)
  • Exercize
  • Extremely Ineffective Daily Affirmations

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . F . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Fallen Confession
  • Famous Quotes
  • Famous Sea Captain
  • Famous Writer (Julian A.)
  • Farm Visit
  • Farmers Daughters
  • Fast Food (Allen L.)
  • Final Answer? (Tom S.)
  • Final Wish (Allen L.)
  • First Commandment (Allen L)
  • First Job
  • First Quotable Quote of the Century (Cindy C.)
  • Fishing Buddies
  • Fishing Is Better Than Sex
  • Fishing trip 2 (Allen L.)
  • Five Balls
  • Florida Bumper Stickers (Allen L.)
  • Florida Slogans (Allen L.)
  • Florida Voting
  • Florist Complaint
  • Following Instructions
  • Football Season (Tom S)
  • For the Ladies (Tom S.)
  • For the Sake of Argument
  • Forward to women you care about (Tom S.)
  • Fourth Wedding (Allen L)
  • Fred's last note
  • Free to a good home
  • Friends Car
  • Fries
  • From The Beyond
  • From the South (Carl F.)
  • From The Stupid Question File...

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . G . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Gas Prices (Tom S.)
  • General Meal
  • General Motors COMDEX (Ron C.)
  • George W. -isms #1
  • Getting along without you
  • Ghandi
  • Give Me a Push
  • Glass Pants
  • Gnus
  • Go Fly A Kite
  • Go Forth and Multiply (Dana T.)
  • God Squad
  • Golden Years (Allen L.)
  • Golf Balls
  • Golf balls 2 (Allen L.)
  • Golf bill (rcote)
  • Golf Game (Allen L.)
  • Golf Long Shot
  • Golf Suggestions/Taking A Leak (rcote)
  • Golfing in Ireland (rcote)
  • Good night
  • Gore Quote (Dustin S)
  • Gore/Bush Debate Transcript (Peggy W.)
  • Great Rules for Writing
  • Guest Names
  • Gunpowder
  • Guy Quiz

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . H . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Hair
  • Hair Dryer
  • Hair Pulling Incident
  • Halloween Costumer Disasters
  • Halloween Costumer Pun
  • Halloween Jokes 1
  • Halloween Jokes 2
  • Halloween Q & A
  • Hand Signals (Allen L.)
  • Handguns (Tom S.)
  • Hands Full
  • Hands-Free (Tom S.)
  • Hanging Chad
  • Happy Nun (Allen L.)
  • Having a Bad Day?
  • Heart Attack
  • Hells Angel (Allen L.)
  • Help Desks (Kim C.)
  • Help Wanted Ad (Rick L.)
  • Helping Grandma
  • Hermaphrodite (rcote)
  • High finance in the modern era
  • High Price of Gasoline (Allen L.)
  • Highways Are Dangerous (Rick L.)
  • Honeymoon During Lent
  • Hotel Stay
  • Houses To Avoid At Halloween
  • How Dumb Is He?
  • How the "Gorinch" almost stole Florida (Tim F)
  • How To Talk About Men
  • How To Tell That You're In Los Angeles
  • How ugly is she?
  • Hunting Lawyers (Dana T.)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . I . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • I'm Hot (Cindy C.)
  • I'm the Boss (James O.)
  • Idiot's Guide To Sex
  • If The Phone Company Ran A Restaurant
  • If there were computers in 1776
  • Importance Of "Correct Punctuation"
  • Important voting day information (Peggy W.)
  • Impress Your Friends (Allen L.)
  • In My Hand
  • In the News 2
  • Ineffective protest
  • Insulting Druggist
  • Interesting Email Addresses (Carl F.)
  • Internet Parking Notice (Cindy C.)
  • Interview With a Blonde
  • Interviews
  • Invention of Sex
  • Investment Advise
  • Invisible Children
  • Ireland Forever
  • Is masturbation harmful?
  • Is your office boring?
  • Island Golf (Allen L.)
  • It's Been a While
  • It's Written In The Bible

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . J . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Jail Bird (Allen L.)
  • Jehovah Witnesses and Halloween
  • Jesus Returns, fatally burned by fireworks
  • Jewish Grandma (Allen L.)
  • Jews vs Chinese (James O)
  • Job of a Lawyer
  • Job Opportunity
  • Job Site
  • Jordan River (rcote)
  • Joshua and Jericho
  • Judge
  • Jury Duty
  • Jury Excuse
  • Just Among Us Girls
  • Just in case you were wondering...

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . K . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Knowing Bill Gates

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . L . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Ladies Night Out (Cindy C.)
  • Land For Sale
  • Last Request
  • Law breakers?
  • Law Degree
  • Laws of Golf
  • Lawyer and Friends
  • Laytex
  • Learning Golf
  • Leaving Work Early (Cindy C)
  • Legal Advice
  • Letter from India (Freddie S)
  • Life's Little Funnies
  • Like Lot's Wife
  • Little Girl (Carl F.)
  • Little Johnny First Time (Ron C.)
  • Little Johnny Learns To Count
  • Little Liar Johnnie
  • Little Rubber Thingy
  • Living Cheap
  • Logical Choice
  • London Traffic Stop
  • Long life2
  • Longevity
  • Lorena Bobbitt's Sister (Tom S.)
  • Los Alamos Security
  • Lose Money Fast
  • Lost Dog
  • Lurid past
  • Lying Onna Da Beach

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . M . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Madonna
  • Magic Mirror (Cindy C.)
  • Magic Show (Allen L.)
  • Making The Most Of Your Teen Pregnancy
  • Man and his wife (Cindy C.)
  • Man and Woman Controls (Freddy S.)
  • Manager of the Year (Freddy S.)
  • Marriage Advice (Allen L.)
  • Math (Allen L)
  • Math Problem (Allen L.)
  • Medical Examination
  • Melvin Durai on Soccer
  • Men and Women differences
  • Men are Like... 1 (Melissa M.)
  • Men are like... 2
  • Mental Problem
  • Miami
  • Microsoft Chair
  • Microsoft Software Patent
  • Micrsoft Split
  • Mildred & Chester
  • Mile High Club
  • Millennium Bug - Microsoft Fashion
  • Missing Patient
  • Missing Trees
  • Mistress 2 (Dana T.)
  • Mobil Stop (rcote)
  • Mom Cleaning Her Son's Room (Cindy C.)
  • Moon Explorers
  • Moose Hunters Horse
  • More Bill Clinton
  • More Hallmark Cards (NOT) (Freddy S.)
  • Moses 2
  • Mother Knows Best
  • Mother of Six
  • Mother Teresa (Tom S.)
  • Mouse Droppings
  • Mouse Revenge
  • Moving
  • MS Ads in Errors
  • Murphy's Laws of Computing
  • My Mother Taught Me
  • My Thirteen Children
  • My Wooden Auto

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . N . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Nativity scene in Washington (Cindy C.)
  • Naughty Nighty
  • New Air Force One (Rick L.)
  • New Cashier
  • New Company Policy (Allen L.)
  • New Couple Next Door
  • New Dog Breeds (Peggy W.)
  • New information regarding Firestone
  • New Kind of Car
  • New Salesman (Tom S.)
  • New Soup (Allen L.)
  • New White Meat (Tom S.)
  • New Words
  • New-Age Phrases
  • Normal Relationship
  • Not Your Average Letter
  • Now You're One of Us (Cindy C.)
  • Number of the Beast

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . O . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Oil Shortage
  • Old Boat (Tom S.)
  • Old Folks Party Games
  • Old Goat for Dinner
  • Old Is When... (Allen L.)
  • Old MacDonald
  • Old Women Driving (Rick L.)
  • On "reserve" with an airline
  • One Last Try
  • Only in America... (Allen L.)
  • Oops (Allen L.)
  • Origin
  • Original Golf Ball
  • Orkin Man
  • Our town was so small...
  • Out of the Mouths of Kids #01 (Carl F.)
  • Out Of Town

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . P . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • P. T. Barnum
  • Painting (Tom S.)
  • Pakistani Tourist
  • Parachute
  • Password (Pat O.)
  • Pay Attention
  • Pay by the Inch
  • Paydirt (Allen L.)
  • Peeing Off A Bridge
  • Penis Raise (Cindy C.)
  • Penis Transplant
  • Perfectly Good Cat
  • Permission to Hunt
  • Personal Ad Translation (Freddy S.)
  • Pete and Larry
  • Petey the Snake
  • Physical Exam for the 92 year old
  • Picabo Street
  • Piccolo
  • Pizza in Japan
  • Play House
  • Poem For Boys
  • Poetry or Prose?
  • Pointy Haired Boss Awards (Freddy S.)
  • Police Shift
  • Policeman
  • Polish Virus
  • Political Poem (Allen L.)
  • Politically Correct About Women
  • Politically Correct Terms for Females
  • Potatoes
  • Potentially vs Realistically (Allen L)
  • Poultry Farmer
  • Prayer for the Stressed
  • Pregnant Daughter
  • Prehistoric Cannon (Allen L)
  • Professional aptitude test (Cindy C.)
  • Professions Defined
  • Professor Crushbottom 01
  • Professor's Joke
  • Proud Texan
  • Prove It, Old Timer
  • Pub Poison
  • Pumpkin Puke (Tom S.)
  • Pussycats

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . Q . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Q & A 3 (Allen L)
  • Questions Most Feared by Men
  • Quotes 2 (Peggy W.)
  • Quotes On The Nature of the Universe

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . R . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Rabbi Family
  • Rabbit slippers
  • Radio (Carl F.)
  • Raisin Bread (Tom S.)
  • Ranch Name
  • Random Thoughts
  • Real Classified Ads
  • Real Cowboy
  • Real Places
  • Realistic Look At Job Descriptions
  • Redneck (Tom S.)
  • Redneck Engineering Exam (Freddy S.)
  • Redneck Trucker
  • Rejected Dr. Seuss Books
  • Rejected State Mottos
  • Renter
  • Resume Bloopers
  • Returned (Dana T.)
  • Reverend John Fuzz...
  • Right Halloween Costume
  • Rock Climbing Accident
  • Row vs Wade
  • Rules of Holiday Shopping
  • Rules Of Relationships
  • Run Hillary

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . S . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Sabbath Violator
  • School Daze
  • Scooter Injuries
  • Screwed
  • Scripture
  • Second Grader Offers IPO
  • Secure a Building
  • Self-righteous Man
  • Senility Prayer (Allen L.)
  • Service with a Smile
  • Seventeen signs that show you're Italian
  • Sex Drive (Dana T.)
  • Sexual problem
  • Sexually Slanted Lines (Carlos M.)
  • Shark Chum
  • Shingle (Allen L.)
  • Shingles
  • Shoe Shine
  • Shoe Store
  • Shopper (Allen L.)
  • Short Lesson In Latin
  • Short Phone Call
  • Shrink Visit
  • Signs 2
  • Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid (Tom S.)
  • Signs that You're Getting OLD
  • Six Presidents (Allen L.)
  • Skippy the Killer Kangaroo
  • Smiles in the Mortuary (Tom S.)
  • Snow Sex (Melissa M)
  • Software Development Metrics
  • Something Cheap
  • Something To Think About...
  • Sound Stumpers
  • Special Bird
  • Special Fetish
  • Specimen
  • Speech
  • Sports Quotes (Allen L.)
  • Sports Smarts (Tom S.)
  • Stocked bunker
  • Story of Moses (Allen L.)
  • Strawberries
  • Stubby Tails
  • Stud Service
  • Stupid Criminals
  • Stupid Questions
  • Subject of Spelling
  • Suicide Foiled
  • Super Revenge
  • Supper Guest
  • Sure signs that you are broke (Freddy S.)
  • Surge In Pumpkin Sales
  • Surprise (Tom S)
  • Survivor II (James O.)
  • Sweet Aroma
  • Swimsuit

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . T . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • T-Shirt Sayings
  • Tattoo holidays (Allen L)
  • Tax Day Collection
  • Tech Answer
  • Telemarketers
  • Telephone Man in the Army
  • Ten Dollahs
  • Tex-Mexistentialism
  • Texan
  • Texan in Hell (Cindy C.)
  • Texas version of 'Survivor' (Cindy C.)
  • Thanksgiving Poem
  • That's What Happens!
  • The Birds and the Bees
  • The Cautious Pilot...
  • The Letter
  • The New Creation
  • The Right Pet
  • The Three Bears (rcote)
  • The Web
  • The Workaholic (Dana T.)
  • They're Hanging My Best Friend
  • Things a Man Would Never Say (Allen L.)
  • Things Mem Undestand About Women (Cindy C.)
  • Things You May Not Have Known: (Diana N.)
  • Things You'll Hear Only in the South
  • Third Wish
  • Third World
  • Thirteen
  • This is amazing
  • This is what's called thinking on your feet (James O.)
  • Three Beggars
  • Three Corpses
  • Three Hookers
  • Three Hymns
  • Three Moles (Allen L.)
  • Three Wise Women (Allen L)
  • Three Women
  • Throwback to the Bad Old Days
  • Ticket Please (Allen L.)
  • Tie (Tom S.)
  • Timbuktu
  • Time Honored Truths (Carlos M.)
  • Time Sheets
  • Tips From Officer Friendly
  • Titles of Country Songs
  • Toilet Brush
  • Tom's in trouble again...
  • Tongue Twister (Tom S.)
  • Too Many Questions (Dana T.)
  • Top Ten Quotes in History (rcote)
  • Trick or Truth (Rick L.)
  • Trouble on The Highway
  • Trouble on the Job
  • Trouble Remembering Things... (Dana T.)
  • Trouble When
  • Truth About Investments
  • Turned On by Politics (Rick L.)
  • Turning 90
  • Two Brooms
  • Two Viagra
  • Typical Women

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . U . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Union Shop (Allen L.)
  • UNIX Philosophy
  • Urine Sample
  • Useful One-Liners

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . V . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Vacation in Rome (Allen L.)
  • Vampire Dinner
  • Victoria's Secret (Freddy S.)
  • Voting For Dummies (Cindy C)

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . W . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Wal-Mart
  • Wal-Mart Associate (Dana T.)
  • Watch
  • Ways To Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped
  • Wedding Gifts
  • Weenie Roast (Kari B.)
  • What do you do for a living? (Cindy C.)
  • What Happens When Your Voice Changes
  • What is Easter? (rcote)
  • What Time-Life Really Means
  • What We Eat
  • What's on TV? (rcote)
  • What's the diff between a Nun
  • What's the difference between a duck and a goat?
  • Where it Lies
  • Where They're From
  • Which Newspaper Do You Read?
  • Whistle Fish
  • Whole Truth
  • Why (Allen L.)
  • Why Women Rule
  • Wise Old Man
  • Without My Glasses
  • Witty Waiter
  • Woman's Dictionary
  • Women's Lib (Allen L.)
  • Woooooo!
  • Work Virus
  • Would-be salesman

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . Y . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Y2K Bunker Manual Excerpt
  • Y2K clearance Sale
  • Yogi Berra couldn't have said these better (Allen L.)
  • Younger woman (Allen L.)
  • Your Viagra is Working

  • . ~ . ~ . ~ . Z . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  • Zoo


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