Clinton Years

As time passes and we put them into perspective, the Clinton years will be remembered for a number of things, including:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta announces that Clinton has proven once and for all that you can get sex from aides.

Jennifer Flowers, asked if her relationship with Clinton was anything like Monica Lewinsky's, replies, "Close, but no cigar."

The FBI coins a technical term for the stains found on Monica's dress: "Presidue."

Announces that he will employ interns from only four colleges: Moorhead, Oral Roberts, Ball State, and Brigham Young.

Arkansas points out that, while the state is somewhat embarrassed, it still can be proud of the fact that, with all these women who came forward, not one is Clinton's sister.

Did you know that Clinton had asked to change the Democratic seal from a donkey to a condom. It represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a false sense of security while you are being screwed.

Washington has come up with a solution for the Clinton situation- they added an 11th commandment: "Thou shall not put thy rod in thy staff."

Finally, Hillary Clinton recently went to a fortune teller who intoned, "Prepare to become a widow. Your husband will soon suffer a violent death!" Hillary took a deep breath and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"