True Friend

For those tired of the usual "friend" poems, here is a touch of reality.

When you are sad ... ...
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum sucking bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue ... ...
I'll try to dislodge what ever's choking you.

When you smile ... ...
I'll know you finally got laid.

When you are scared ... ...
I will rag you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried ... ...
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.

When you are confused ... ...
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick ... ...
Stay the hell away from me until you're well again, I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall ... ...
I will point and laugh and tell stories about it later to everyone who wasn't there.

This is my oath ... ...
I pledge till the end. Why you may ask? ......

... Because you're my friend.


Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me...I don't want to hear it!!!) And remember.... when life hands you Lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me!!!