Dog's New Years Resolution

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

I will not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will stop trying to find the last remaining piece of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will keep the humans off my water bowl!