Acme Is Better

Joe had gotten a sales route for the Acme insecticide company. He went off and after a week found that everyone was buying from Flanders of the Ace Insecticide Company and had no real inclination to change. He searched his mind for a way to break this up. Finally he came up with it.

Joe goes to Farmer Jones, the largest farmer in the valley and makes a pitch.

"But I'm satisfied with the Ace products. Why should I change," Jones tells him.

"Because Acme is better," Joe tells him, "I can even prove it. You have that meadow near the river where the mosquitos are really fierce. Let me spray the area and you can tie me naked to a tree all night. If I have even one bite on my body come morning, you just send me on my way, but if I come through unbitten, you have to buy all your insecticide from me this year."

Jones considers this and decides that he can't loose. The two go down to the Meadow, Joe sprays the area, undresses, and Jones ties him to a tree.

Jones says good night and leaves.

The next morning, Jones returns and finds Joe exhausted but unmarked. Joe isn't just tired, he can hardly stand.

"Are you alright?" Jones asks.

I'm fine, but doesn't that calf have a mother?"