Geek Quotes

"If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...?"
-Anon

"What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator."
-Anon

"Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debuging Monday's code"
- Dan Salomon .

"Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying."
-Anon.

"Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can."
-Anon.

"Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue..."
-Anon.

"Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand."
-Anon.

"Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am it's because they were up all night."
-Anon.

"Pascal keeps your hand tied. C gives you enough rope to hang yourself."
-Anon.

"Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!'"
-Anon.

"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
-Jeremy S. Anderson

"He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no heart. He who does as an adult has no brain."
-John Moore

"Programming graphics in X is like finding the square root of PI using Roman numerals."
-Henry Spencer

"If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing."
-Anon.

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."
-Nathaniel Borenstein

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside."
-Robert X Cringely

"The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec."
-Marcus Dolengo

If it's not on fire then it's a software problem.

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
-Mitch Ratliffe

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates '81

".. the most important thing in the programming language is the name. A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language.
-- D. E. Knuth, 1967

All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer.
-- IBM maintenance manual (1985)

"To err is human, to compute divine. Trust your computer but not its programmer"
-- Morris Kingston

Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.

The time it takes to clean up after a computer virus is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage.

To err is human, but it takes a computer to really screw things up.

If builders built buildings the way programmer wrote programs, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

The weaker the math, the more elaborate the graphics need to be.