New Real Men of Genius

<cue music - screaming guitars, the Big Voiced Announcer, and that guy who sounds like he just stepped out of a smoking wreck>

"Bud Light presents, Real Men of Genius."

"Real Men of Gee-ee-een-yuh-hus"

"Today we salute YOU, Mister Ex-Wife-Hating Wedding Dress Auctioneer."

"Mister Ex-Wife-HatingWeddingDress A-AUC-tioner..."

"You could take the results of the attic cleaning and throw them away. You could give them to charity. But no - you know exactly what to do with the wedding dress of the woman that left you."

"Bye, Bye-eye bab-bay..."

"Fearlessly you squeeze your big manly frame into that itty-bitty, fluffy confection of white lace. Sure, the zipper won't go up and some of the bugle beads may snap - but someone had to model it for the camera. And besides - you look better in it than she ever did."

"Does this make me look fat, now..."

"Facing the real prospect of ridicule from your friends, you give all the gory details, writing a description that will sell this puppy and make enough for a keg. Sure, your ex-wife may get angry. But what the hell - its not like there's anything more she can do to you now."

"What-choo gonna do, now?"

"So have a cold Bud Light, oh Beer-Swilling Barker of the Bridal Gown. And remember - the gloves always match the shoes."

"Mister Ex-Wife-HatingWeddingDress Auctione-er-er-errrrrrrrrrr"

Anheuser Busch, Saint Louis, Missouri