Yallbonics

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:



1.) HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.


2.) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"


3.) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."


4.) JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner."


5.) BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,00 in improvements."


6.) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."


7.) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."


8.) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."


9.) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"


10.) RANCH - (noun)- tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."


11.) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."


12.) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."


13.) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."


14.) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."


15.) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."


16.) FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."


17.) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."


18.) CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer".


19.) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."


20.) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."


21.) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe ....give 'im some ARE!"


22.) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."


23.) JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"


24.) HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah .... haze ignert.


25.) SEED -(verb) - past tense of "to see". Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City".


26.) VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"


27.) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."