Bacterial Rights

Thirteen-year old Kate Eppers, spokesperson for the Committee for Bacterial Rights, said:

"We live in a diverse society. Our biggest ethnic groups are not the Asians, the Africans or the Caucasians. Our biggest ethnic groups are the Bacteria. I used to wash my hands every day. My mom made me. But then I learned about ethnic cleansing. Every time you wash your hands, you wipe out billions and billions of Bacteria. That's not fair. Bacteria have rights, too. So let's be grown-ups about this.

When mom asks you to wash your hands, just say No."