Types of People One Meets in A Public Washroom

EXCITABLE--Runs in, grabs for zipper, zipper is stuck; finally gets it down, finds shorts have twisted around his leg, can't find hole, rips button off in rage, pees in pants.

INDIFFERENT--All urinals being used, pees in sink.

SOCIABLE--Joins a friend in a pee whether he has to or not.

FRIVOLOUS--Plays stream up and down and across urinal, tries to hit fly, never grows up.

CROSS-EYED--Looks in one on left, pees in one in middle, flushes one on right.

CLEVER--No hands, shows off by fixing tie, looks around, pees on floor.

NOSEY--Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

WORRIED--Is not sure of what he has been into lately; makes quick inspection.

TIMID--Cannot urinate when someone is watching. Flushes urinal as if he has already used it, sneaks back later.

ABSENT-MINDED--Opens vest, pulls out tie, pees in pants.

TOUGH--Bangs penis against side of urinal to dry it.

DISGUSTED--Stands for a while, gives up, walks out, goes a few paces, turns and charges back. Doesn't make it.

FAT--Has to back up and take a long blind shot at urinal, misses, pees on shoes.

DESPERATE--Waits in long line, teeth grinding, pees in pants.

LITTLE--Stands on box, falls in, drowns.

SNEAKY--Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will be blamed.

DRUNK--Holds left thumb in right hand, pees in pants.

CHILDISH--Looks directly into bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.

PATIENT--Stands for a very long time, reads paper with free hand.

EFFICIENT--Waits until he has to poop and then does both jobs at once.