Dumb Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.


Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
A: She thought it was diet coke.


Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.


Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.


Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.


Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.


Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.


Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.


Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.


Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.


Q: How does the blonde car pool work?
A: They all meet at work at 7:45.


Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.


Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.


Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."


Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.


Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.


Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.


Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A2: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"


Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.


Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off...


Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.


Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at the local high school football games?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.


Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!


Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"


Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.


Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.


Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.


Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."


Two blondes were trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!


A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home.