Cook's Dictionary

Oven Mitt: A partially charred grease stain that fits over the hand.

Picnic: Any meal eaten more than 100 yards from the nearest bathroom.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy and utensils you don't own to make a dish the dog won't eat the rest of.

Sugar: One of a class of carbohydrates present in one form or another in all food. Common sources of sugar and the types they contain are:
fructose and glucose (fruit juice and honey); lactose (milk); sucrose (sugar cane or sugar beets); maltose (malt); and jocose, verbose, morose, lachrymose, bellicose, and comatose (alcohol).

Taste: 1) The ability to distinguish between, say, tripes a la mode de Caen and chocolate pudding.
2) The critical discernment necessary to choose the chocolate pudding.

Timer: Adjustable clock that rings or otherwise signals when a particular dish is overcooked.