Why I Like Retirement

Q: How many days in a week?
A: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Q: When is a retiree's bedtime?
A: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Q: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it might take all day

Q: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
A: There is not enough time to get everything done .

Q: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
A: The term comes with a 10% discount .

Q: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
A: Tied shoes.

Q: Why do retirees count pennies?
A: They are the only ones who have the time.

Q: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A: NUTS!

Q: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there .

Q: What do retirees call a long lunch?
A: Normal

Q: What is the best way to describe retirement?
A: The never ending Coffee Break.

Q: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Q: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
A: He is too polite to tell the whole truth .

Q: What do you do all week?
A: Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.


Happiness is a voyage, not a destination, there is no better time to be happy than...